Size Queen
apologies for all the spelling errors but I have been correcting student papers all weekend and their poor spelling is apparently contagious-my spelling should improve after tomorrow when I turn in final grades
Virgo:It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean.

Scorpio: Listen dude, if she doesn't even know there is a boat involved it doesn't matter how good the motion is.

(two members of a now defunct glam band discussing sex and penis size in my presence)

"No matter what a person looks like, there is something about their body they absolutely hate. We all have something we live in fear of people seeing and being horrified by."

My mother

I was talking to Flibberdigibbet on friday about her love life. "Why is it that there always something wrong with every guy I meet? I mean, this guy Claudio. He's sexy, he's smart, he's funny, he's got a gorgeous body, he's a great conversationalist, he's got a good job, he's a great place."

"Ok what's wrong with him?"

And I was expected her to say "He's named Claudio" or "He professionally pleasures sexually frustrated rich women."

But no, the response was "He has a tiny penis. I mean, the sex was good, but still there is something about a big dick."

I had to correct her. "Uh, well, there are dicks that are too big, and there are big dicks that are, let's just say, are not nicely shaped. There is something nice about a well porportioned dick." Ladies, agree with me here, there are, for lack of a better word, pretty dicks. ( Just like, as most straight men will tell you, there are pretty breasts-being big is not the only requirement)

Now I don't care to let you in on more than you need to know, but I've experienced the spectrum. And let me say, Flibber has a point. There is something that one can only get from a goodly shaped cock.

When I was in college, a drag qqueen I worked with in a show once tried to teach me how to gauge size based on outlines in pants and so forth. I never could get the hang of it, mainly because I thought there were more important things I should be doing than trying to figure out the relative penis size of every man in the room.

Later this inability would be compounded by the "grower/shower" conundrum. Sometime what you see is what you get, and sometimes you are dealing with a Nationa Geographic special where the thing puffs up unexpectedly to like ten times its normal size.

And for the men with tiny penises, well, it's a serious problem because how the hell do you get around that? I can work with emotionally unavailable. At least there there is the potential for change. A tiny penis, well, unless the five tons of spam I get a day are actually accurate ( what are the odds?) there isn't much that can be done except to accept well that's what's there and learn to work with it.

Now of course the irony here is that I am little tiny thing ( four foot six) arguing about how size does matter albeit it in a limited capacity.

Flibberdigibbet continued to insist that Claudio was good in bed. Which I actually can believe. This point is key, men with TPs can still be very satisfying.

But Flibber continued. There is, as I mentioned, a hot Israeli dancer at my studio. Flibber pulled me in "You know, who else has a tiny, I mean, TINY penis, I mean a pardon me while I get out my magnifying glass tiny penis? Hot Israeli." I asked her how she knew and I got the following story. "Well a girlfriend of mine hooked up with him. The next day I called her up to you know see how things went. Apparently it was so small that when he took off his pants she actually laughed and told him not to bother as she wasn't interested anymore."

Now that has to be a god awful situation. To be laughed at naked. I live in fear of it everyday. ( not that I am often naked in public) But here is guy who is good looking, decent body, charming, well educated, has an accent. But he has this, uh, short coming And I have to admit that it made me feel better to know that about him, it made him more human. It made him more like me. Because I live in fear of what a man will see what he's sees me naked for the first time. All those scars. Can't be pretty. And here is this gorgeous man who has the same damn problem.