Trust Fall

Those of you who have been actors have surely taken the trust fall. In fact, anyone who has done one of those project outreach things knows the trust fall. There a variety of different ways: backwards off a wall, forwards into waiting arms, blindfolded into the arms of your scene partner.

They used to call me queen of trust fall. No matter how close to the ground I got. No matter how many times people dropped me, and they did, I never tried to catch myself, I never tried to stop myself from falling. Scene mates were awed, directors were impressed, my ass got bruised.

Tonight I was holding hands with the jolly green giant as he walked me home after a dance showcase. He was going out with his friends and I was going out with mine. "You aren't jealous?" I asked.

"No, I trust you," he responded.

"After a week you trust me?"

"After fifteen minutes I trusted you."

Now I have that effect on people. People meet me and they just spill, the name of their favorite teacher from grade school, if their boyfriend has a big dick, if they hate their jobs, their thighs, their life. I just have that effect on people.

But I am amazed by it.

And part of that, is I finally got dropped on my ass one too many times. Even before Israel I was covering bases. Yeah, I trust certain people to keep me from falling on my ass, but I don't trust anybody to stay single on a saturday night.There is always the back up, the contigency program, the break glass in case of emergency man.

Even now, in the already had but willing to revisit category there is the Virginia Contigency boyfriend and Adam the "naked chef." In the haven't had but think about often there is there are the hot Argentine guitarists ( hey why narrow my imagination unnecessarily?), miracle gro, and hot isreali dancer (who apparently has such a tiny penus that the hubble telescope might be needed to confirm that he has one-and I have this on good authority)

And he trusts me.

When I was with Eric, I was hit on by any number of hot men. You can't imagine the men I turned down. My heart ( well maybe not my heart) still weeps at the thought.

Maybe I got dropped on my ass too many times. Maybe you get to a point and you say "Alright motherfucker, take your blind fold and your 'believe we will catch you' attitude and shove it up your ass." Maybe I fell off the wall too many times. Hit the floor too much. Sure hitting the floor once or twice ok. But after how many times is it ok to say 'You know what Mr Director why don't you trust me for a moment?'"

I come home with hot Israeli's cologne on my body, Miracle Gro's smile on my mind, the possibility of Adam close by, and the party where any number of unknowns might show up.

He trust me.

The question is, do I?

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