"Sex and Death. Two things that come once in a lifetime, but at least after death, you don't get that nauseous feeling." -Woody Allen in Sleeper

Welcome and Bienvenu....Welcome

First I would like to welcome the The Black Saint and Right By Popular Demand to Bunniblog. (Bad Bunni runs around waving her arms much like Kermit the Frog in the Muppet Show.) Just so you all can't say that we here at Bunniblog aren't supportive and grateful to our fans or at least the people who nod at us from a distance in public. (The us in that sentence being my cat, who honestly could care less about this blog, but since she spent last night literally trying to climb the wall, let's just say that good judgement has never been her strong suit, so we include her without her consent.)

Brushes With Fame

So I got Immed today by none other than Ari of Ari Goes Down. I've been reading her blog for about three months and only recently I've finally gotten my act together and started shouting out at her site. (I am strangely shy about these things.) And tonight before walking her dog, she immed me (she shouted out to yesterday's entry as well). I was so excited, I nearly spit out my iced tea all over my keyboard. Not only did she im me, but she invited me to hang with some other bloggers in the neighborhood in two weeks. Unfortunately I can't because I will be out on the boat-hopefully being fanned by a gaggle of men (how many men in a gaggle? what should a group of men be called? a den? a hank? a crotch? I kind of like that "Hey look at that there crotch of men over there.") And so I am feeling all warm and snuggly knowing perhaps all the effort I put into Bunniblog is not completely wasted.

Mate.com Update and Casual Dating From Romania

The aforementioned Ari had a wonderful treatise today on the evil men she met through online dating. I would like to second her objection. I think that I have basically just met the same ten sleazy guys (albeit sleazy in different ways) in different bodies. Like there is some sort of scum body swap somewhere. Or maybe its just that there isn't much variety when it comes to be scuzzy. But today I hit an all time low when a 60 YEAR OLD MAN EXPRESSED INTEREST IN ME. Let me say that again because my father, if he was alive (and this might have killed him, or at the very least given him a mild heart attack) would have been only 64. This guy is way closer to my father's age than to my own. He would have had a better shot with my mother. And this guy was also a Jewish doctor, which means if my father wasn't dead, I would suspect it was my father. (Tell me that wouldn't be the online dating story to end all online dating stories, one of your parents sending you an email through date or match. I honestly don't think I would ever stop throwing up if that happened.)

And what the hell is with these guys contact me not just from other states, but other countries, just looking for a casual relationship? I got an email today from a guy in Bucarest (his spelling, not mine) looking for a casual relationship. A few days ago I got a similar email from a guy in South Carolina. Do you really think I am going to make travel plans to have a fling? People, I don't even have to leave the building for a casual relationship. On the other hand, I also got an email today from a 21 yr old living in India, whose endearing email (which so disgusted me that I immediately erased it without realizing its potential value here at the blog) that he didn't care who I was, how old I am, whether I am divorced or single. All he cared about was that I was a childless American woman who was ready to immediately engage in conjugal bliss. Be still my beating heart. It reminded me of the old Tom Lehrer joke "Recently I received a letter that said 'Darling I love you, marry me or I'll kill myself.' Well, I was very concerned until I looked at the envelope and realized it was addressed to 'Occupant.'"


And not to be bitchy or tarty (too late) but when did "a couple of extra pounds" come to mean sixty or seventy? When I think a couple, I think four or five. For example, if I asked my friend Jin to pick up a couple of limes, I wouldn't expect him to show up with seventy. And yet a lot of these guys who say a few extra pounds (and use old pics, damn them) show up and small children can stand in the shadow of their gut. Not that I have problem with being overweight, I just like making an informed decision. Like my friend Stephen who used to answer personal ads. He was always so disappointed by how much these guys DID NOT fit their own descriptions. One guy in particular was very vague about his looks. Whenever Stephen asked, the guy would say "Well I have great bedroom eyes" and then move him onto another topic. Finally I said to Stephen, "Are you sure he said eyes? maybe he said eye? Maybe he's just a giant floating eye." So Stephen finally met the Bedroom Eye, who apparently didn't even live up the bedroom eyes . It's not that I wouldn't date a giant floating eye at this point, it's just I'd like to know that's what I am getting into upfront.

But Let's End on an Upbeat Note

Today I went outside and blew bubbles on my front stoop. I used to do that all the time when I first moved here. I actually achieved a kind of cult status in the neighborhood. But then I didn't do it after IT happened. But today I found myself out on the front stoop, enjoying the day, blowing bubbles.

Now there is a social science involved in bubble blowing. In NYC it's always fun to see how people re-act to them. Most people pretend not to see them. A few will consciously avoid them, or treat the bubbles like hostile invaders from another planet (waving their arms to avoid the bubbles). Then there are the people, a minority, who smile and enjoy the bubbles briefly before continuing to wherever they are going. And then finally there is the smallest group, the people who stand and enjoy the bubbles while talking to me. Now the hard part about this science is you can never tell who is going to belong to what group. Some parents walk by with head down and could careless about the bubbles, some stop and chat. (Often the parents are more interested in the bubbles than the kids who are more focused on their gameboys.) Some really "hip" looking people treat the bubbles like invaders. Generally the people who re-act the best are older couples. Go out and blow some bubble and see. It's really cheapest way to have fun just about anywhere. I have a little tiny bottle from a friends wedding and I fill it every summer and when I wait for someone, I just pull it out and start blowing bubbles on the street. (And I can always say "You can miss me, I'm the girl blowing bubbles on the corner.") Also, I should note, what part of town you are also depends on how people re-act to my bubble blowing. (Much better bubble crowd in the Village.)


I will be posting the new beginning of the essay for the essay contest tomorrow. As always I thank you for input, and be as brutal as possible.