Better? Better get a bucket I'm going to puke
This quote is from Monty Python and the Meaning of Life

Ok so I am beginning to recover from my rage. Partially because certain parties can, it seems, read and understand direct instructions ( hooray for that) and partially because Bishop called me. Yes, I am that sad.

But I would like to point out here you really did get to see the worst of the dark side. Or rather part of it. Last night I was incredibly mean to certain parties. Yep, and the sick part is I enjoyed it. I did. He was trying his best last night and today and I did everything to make him miserable and thwart him and I admit it there was a sick pleasure in it. Not that it's what I really want, but since I can't have what I really want, then the next best thing is making him suffer for it. You punish those you can for the ones you really want to suffer. So he is a scapegoat, a place holder. Not that he is entirely innocent, he did do things to bring my wrath upon him.

But generally this is the way of things with my male friends-we are very close and then because of relationship issues there is some kind of fight and I, being me, find an excuse not to deal with the other party ever again (Treehugger) or for a very long period of time ( Milk with Ice-a friend from college-and his friend the Idiot Savant). My friend D ( can I call him Vampire hunter D? Yes let's.) Vampire Hunter D calls it a pre-emptive strike ( he also claims I have pre-emptive bitterness I'm not sure what that is but I don't deny it).

But there is this satisfaction in being mean, in knowing that I have that power over someone still. Of course, I do this because I am threatened by the power he had over me. And there something about a reversal of fortune ( there is a greek term for that) that is quite charming. But the truth is the very heart of the problem is this. Even with all his effort, even with what he is going to say whenever it is I do speak to him, he still isn't going to be as hurt by this as I am.

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