The Return of Bunni's Tips For Men

Ok OK a long time ago a friend of mine suggested that I should publish tips on dating me here. And I started and the stopped because really so many of them seemed self evident. Yesterday we clearly hit another one without being aware of it, and that's be upfront about what you want. MAYBE OTHER GIRLS WANT YOU TO LIE, I don't. You just want me for my body and never to call again. Well, ok just tell me that then. Don't start telling me you want to take marry me or you can't wait to see me again. Just say "Thank you for a lovely evening" and get out.

But here's some more hints for the e-daters. Ok is this your ad:
tis is 4 all sexy women that is out they look 4 the 1 that will love them 4 them and not what u look iam just a men look for someone that can have fun and can kick thair feet up chill if that is u then gave me a holla

You are not the Sphinx. Make some kind of sense. Please. What I got from this is that a baby elephant taught itself how to type using only Hustler. I would actually prefer a simple "Have cock, will travel." At least I can understand that. ( Hell, it's e-dating why not go for "have BIG cock, will travel"?)

Here's another one from a man who claims to be 47, but whose picture looked 67: Very romantic, affectionate, physical and generous gentle MAN seeks young LADY for happily ever afters! No games, no bars, and no tears. Compassionate, passionate, supportive communicator. My weaknesses are a good heart, nice smile, and great legs -- yours, not mine! Live near the rivers, lakes, and MSP airport. Serious respondents UNDER 40 only, please. Write NOW! We don't ever have forever...

Again "Have cock, will travel" would have been totally sufficient. Not to mention, it would have made me laugh instead of making me shake my head in shame. I ashamed for this guy. Um, I don't mean to brag, but if at 157 you think you can handle a purely sexual relationship, you better get your secret stash of Extasy, Viagra, "horny goat weed" (as advertised in the Village Voice) and horse tranquilizers out of retirement.

And what's with these guys looking for purely sexual relationships who want ladies? Basically you want some girl dressed like Betty Crocker on the outside and Frederick's of Hollywood underneath.

And strangely enough if you want that type of costuming, I am your woman. I used to be an actress. With no more than five minutes warning I can go into my closet and come out dressed as a Viking, an angel, a red sequin devil, or a playboy bunny (what a shock).

But the point here is that simplicity is your friend. IT IS I SWEAR. You want sweet young pussy on a paper plate, well hell just ask for it.

And another thing, who are these people from other countries who are emailing me for a casual relationship. (Oh my god, I just channelled Jerry Seinfeld.) Um, my idea of a casual relationship is I don't have to leave my building. I shouldn't even have to change out of my pjs (IE John Yule-see previous posts). Come to my door just wearing shorts and when I open the door shout "Room service!!!!!" (I would laugh so hard, and then probably call the police.) But casual relationship definately does not involve changing time zones and it really doesn't involve my passport.